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I Have Joined Carl’s Wall of Flame
By: Deanna Quinn
After learning about the Wall of Flame at Carl’s Tavern (433 Broadway Street), this ace reporter for NewHavenBulletin.com decided to give you, the readers, a firsthand account of how hot “the hottest wings in town” actually are. After all, it is my duty to report the news; it has nothing to do with my competitive spirit at all. I promise!
In anticipation of the Seriously, Ridiculously, Over-the-Top, XXX hot sauce, I decided a pre-competition warm up was needed. Before I drove to Carl’s, I ate a couple pieces of bread and drank a glass of milk to coat my stomach with food that would dull the heat. Then I put band-aids on my pointer finger and thumb where I have paper cuts to prevent the sauce from burning the wounds. Confident that my stomach was coated and fingers secure, I headed to Carl’s.
Upon arrival, I looked longingly at the photos on the Wall of Flame and knew my picture would hang there soon. After my witness and I signed the waiver form, David Byrd, the manager, brought me a basket of 10 wings doused in the piping hot sauce. The bartender set a cup of water and the submission bell in front of me. They sat there taunting me, as I knew I would not let myself touch either until all 10 wings were gone.
Right as I took my first bite, the timer began its 5-minute countdown. I needed to eat a wing every 30 seconds in order to defeat the heat. As I chomped down wing after wing, I bared my teeth to keep my lips away from the burning sauce. My fingers were covered in the fiery red liquid that had kissed the corners of my mouth. My eyes watered down my cheeks that flushed against the heat inside. My nose cried. With 25 seconds left, I shoved the last wing in my mouth and chewed furiously to send that wing into the abyss of my stomach with its nine defeated brethren. I was victorious! And I earned my spot on the Wall of Flame. As a reward, I received a tiny trophy and a plastic firefighter helmet so I could proudly display my dominance.
Though I prevailed and devoured the drumsticks, their memory continued to burn in my mouth. With every breath, the heat flared forcing me to gulp more water, eat more crackers. For 20 minutes, my mouth was an inferno and my stomach the fiery pit of hell. A handful of antacids and four glasses of water later, the fire dwindled from a roar to a flicker. Though I doubted my decision to participate that night, I will have the last laugh every time I venture into Carl’s to see my picture on the Wall of Flame.
Visit Rack & Helens Bar & Grill (525 Broadway Street)... and be sure to sign up for their Loyalty Rewards card. 260-749-5396
